I want/don't want to write

I want to write yet I don't want to as well. My emotions are so deeply attached to my words. I can't escape myself. No place to go to where the pain doesn't follow. So many heart thoughts. Prayerful wishes like blowing dandelion seeds in the breeze.

I breathe in- deep down to my stomach. My hand rests on the wave of my exhale. Then back in again with the air I force myself to breathe. The everyday routine of life screaming out to me is like medicine that numbs a wound only to feel the sting after time evaporates the bandaid. 

So many pictures racing through my mind.